today was a wierd day... at least, wierd for me lah... like the past two weeks ive been spending so much with the same people and today is totally not. went out with char and shella today... was ok. same old same old lah... oh and i think i will be changing my blog password soon. i dunno... i seem to have lost track of hu has my password already... and i guess i dun really want the whole world to read it or wad lah. still seems qt surreal that im leaving so soon... i dunno. maybe it will help me grow up haha. i hope so! :) as in. i guess i dun really like it that im a pampered child and that im so lazy and stuff just tt im like too comfortable to change so maybe when i come back i will!

anyway i met dave today for a drink at starbucks and it was qt an interesting time... just chatting and stuff. qt cool haha.we shld do it again. its good tt i finally mix with people my age instead of younger haha. today daves fren on the bus said that he couldnt believe that i was 18 lah. super insulted!!! yeah. and im in qt a contemplative mood now... do i let to many people in on my life? as in. do i reveal too much about myself to so many people that it seems like i just shoot of my mouth to whoever is available?im not exactly sad rite now... just not very happy i guess. walking in the drizzle at night does that to you i guess.

why am i even trying. i think i try too much to mean soemthing to people when if they just dont want it then they just dont. i always make resolutions that i will not tell people too much, that i will be an enigma but its like i cant help it. if people ask me i will answer and i will just reveal everything. even if i dun want to...i guess its cos i really cant lie very well? and i always feel very close to pple when im with them alone but when im not then i dun really... as in im not actually close to them just tt when im with them i feel really close lah. oh wells. im only close to some people but it seems like im close to alot... wich is wierd rite??? hmm i dunno lah haha.

anyway i think i really shld have been born a male. as in. not like i wanna become a butch or what just that i feel liek im a guy. is that wierd? like its not that i feel any attraction at all for girls just that i dunno. i crave for affection but ill feel wierd if i do get any affection. like i want you to notice me, but if you do will i turn away? i dont really know. aiyah. just in a wierd mood today lah.a good sleep shld do away with that heh.